Mr. Dylon - your dye product suckith!

Rural Bath
Wiltshire
UK

February 23rd 2009

Dear Mr. Dylon,

I wanted to let you know how disappointed I am with the latest products that you're selling here in the UK. Frankly, your once dependable product is like so many things these days a mere crock of the proverbial.
How can I say so? Quite easily Sir.

Actually Mr. Dylon, I've been using your products since the age of eight when I dyed myself, the cooking kettle, stove, kitchen sink and at this stage I don't recall whether I was successful dying the garment all this effort was spent on! That was 42 years ago. I've since, been a faithful customer and sought your products on three continents and in four countries. During that time I have dyed everything from macaroni and feathers to a VAST variety of fabrics with never a problem caused by your product!

Today I decided to make some hay etc etc and dye a length of tussah silk according to your newly packaged product, suitable for silk. Weight and ratio to dye is perfect, in fact as ever, I'm slightly over the necessary requirements for powdered dye. However, since I want a deep, rich shade of ruby red bleeding into black for this silk chaddar a tad more dye is not a major issue to concern myself with.

However:

As of my latest check-in, I'm a futile 50 minutes over the viable dyeing time and what I have ended up with is something a shade past Peptobismol pink/dusky rose in the dye-bath.

Thank you so much for nothing!

While I'm done for it at this stage in the process, by my calculation I will probably get the deep ruby colour I need in another four immersions. Another series of chores for me to add to my schedule and £32's to contribute to your coffers. How nice for you!

However today's little debacle does not earn your product and company name much credit with me. Tweaking your formula's at the risk of your clients satisfaction to merely bump up your profit margins selling shoddy products is not the way to go. Especially in a period of cautious shopping and declining available capital. By all means cut back on your range in order to improve your profits, people such as I who can eyeball the colour and mix their dye batches without turning a hair aren't going to complain, let alone snivel and we'll keep you hanging in there until the good times come back again.

Failing to deliver what your product stipulates on it's packaging looses you my money most certainly.

So rather like a dead love affair, I'm afraid you don't do it for me any more! Unfair I know! And indeed it's ALL about me, absolutley and so selfishly -- mea culpa.
I know, forty two years commitment and loyalty is not to be shrugged off lightly but Mr. Dylon, Honey, it just isn't working for me! I have these needs -- consider it all a demanding middle aged man's "mid-life crisis" if it makes it easier on you but the writing is on the wall. You are history, so much so that "historic" is the new modern and cutting edge. But I've got to move on, I'm sure you understand.

Thank you for so many years of fun Mr. Dylon, I had a great time and paid my way but it's time!

Warm regards,

Marcus Findlay-Arthur

PS: Yo TAXI! Lets blow this pop-stand!